Song: Straight Ticket Voter

This year, with South Carolina's elections being so messed up, with so many write-in and petition candidates, it's especially important to think about who you're voting for. If you vote a straight ticket, you may be giving up your chance to vote for some offices, as well as voting for some real lemons.

Here's a little song I wrote about straight-ticket voters:


Here are the lyrics, in case you can't hear them very well over the twangy mandolin.

Straight Ticket Voter

CHORUS:

I'm a straight ticket voter, 

Don't want to think it over

'Cause I believe the party line right to my core

I just push that button 

And I don't worry 'bout nothin'

'Cause I know our crooks and liars are better than yours

Well this candidate is shifty 

And he isn't very thrifty

He drove his daddy's business straight into the ground

His nanny is illegal

And he shot his neighbor's beagle

But he's one more vote for our side, so let's keep him around

CHORUS

Well this candidate ain't stellar

But she's written a best-seller

Her list of wealthy donors is half a mile long

To the party she is loyal

Though she has some friends in oil

But the ethics charge against her really isn't very strong

CHORUS

Yes, I know our crooks and liars are better than yours